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| Friday, October 30th, 2009 | | 7:53 pm |
Cats and Dogs living together: Mass Hysteria!
Sorry, I suck at LJ. For those of you that hadn't already heard elsewhere that have been kept in suspense, things have gone very well. I'm starting my new job at Silver Spring Networks on Monday, which turned out to be a better position and offer than I was ever hoping for. Best of all, I'll be working with that I enjoyed working with before, and for a company that's supporting green industry. Domestically, I'm living with Damon in Cupertino, which is working out nicely. I've been reconnecting with friends, and making a few new ones as well. Overall, nearly everything is looking up, and I'm excited to be alive again. :) Current Mood:  happy | | Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 | | 12:09 am |
I miss my dog very much. :( Current Mood:  lonely | | Monday, October 5th, 2009 | | 2:08 pm |
I just got a text alert from my last school's emergency system: Alert Tampa campus--White male subject seen in Cooper Hall area in black tank top, cowboy hat, carrying black puppy and large hunting knife. Officers in route. Entire Tampa campus remains on alert. Stay inside. Lock doors. Report any suspicious activity. | | Saturday, September 26th, 2009 | | 12:30 am |
made it!
i'm in morgan hill at athaliah's. yay, see everyone soon! | | Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 | | 7:25 pm |
heading towards el paso, more than halfway now | | Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 | | 8:49 am |
breakfast at a truckstop in alabama. you can smoke while you eat your bacon. weird | | 1:28 am |
yay, passing gainesville,go gators and tom petty | | Monday, September 21st, 2009 | | 1:23 am |
Westward, Hos!
I'm out the door and on my way. Seeyas in a few days! Current Mood: awake | | Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 | | 3:02 pm |
Oy Gevalt!
Turns out I had some savings bonds left over from my bar mitzvah, yay! I still have most of those fancy pens I got from that, too. Old Jewish aunts must think that every boy becomes a novelist after they turn 13. Regarding the move, I'm giving myself a few days to cool off before heading out. My shrink thought it'd be a good idea as well (Yes, I've been seeing one regularly). We had a family session yesterday, which made my folks a bit more at ease. Surprisingly, my therapist was very supportive of my plans. Even i know it's a long shot, I'm not fooling myself about that. Current Mood: surprised | | Monday, September 7th, 2009 | | 1:38 pm |
Well, my checks have come in. Between some old stock I had forgotten about and a life insurance policy I'd paid into for a while, I've got a good 3500 bucks at least. My parents of course want to give me something, but I know they can't afford it any more than I can, and I need to do this with out their help, anyway. Got another call from a recruiter this morning, too. It's just a NOC job, but as usual, they aren't much interested in talking until I'm actually living there and can interview. It's a good sign though, and worth following up when I'm there. Thanks again to those who've been supporting me through this, it goes a long way. To those naysayers who think I'm oblivious to the gossip mill, you're doing no one any favors. I hope the entertainment is worth it. Go buy a celebrity mag already. Current Mood: excited | | Friday, September 4th, 2009 | | 2:16 am |
Ready or not...
Well, things here have come together with unusual ease and I'll be leaving a lot sooner than I imagined. I'm heading out on the road next Tuesday, with a stop or two along the way. Obviously I'm terrified of taking this chance, but I can't stay here. I keep reminding myself that I did this once before and made it, but this time, unlike the last, I have to face it alone. Current Mood:  scared | | Friday, August 28th, 2009 | | 2:18 am |
It's looking like I'll be heading out Sept 8th, right after labor day, assuming no hurricanes are in my way. I've got a 2 week stopover I'm looking forward to, so I'll be showing up around the end of Sept. Pretty much everything is packed and ready to load already, just a few little things to tie up left. I'm anxious as all hell, but eager to leave at the same time. Either way, it really sucks to have to do this alone, now. Current Mood: anxious | | Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 | | 1:22 am |
A Change of Heart
I almost killed myself last night. I told my parents to hide the guns, but I was just going to drown myself in the canal instead. The only reason I didn't is because I realized it's easier to hate someone than it is to love them in vain. It's obvious she never really loved me back . She just needed me. You can never stop loving someone, but you can become unnecessary. She couldn't even be that honest, even at the end. I've forgiven Greg of all people, whether he'll ever know it or not. Some things are unforgivable, though, even for me. Even so, I can't wish ill on others, but I can say that whatever guilt she feels is well founded, and that everything she's afraid she's done to me and my life, she has. I don't need to blame her, she already blames herself, and rightfully so. I won't pretend otherwise anymore. If she remembers anything about me, let it be that. I'm coming back without her now, and it will be easier that way. I look forward to being with you all again soon, sooner than I was expecting, for better or worse. Look to the weeks ahead. I'm coming home, friends. And I'm getting my dog back. Current Mood: determined | | Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 | | 3:18 am |
On the way!
I'm heading to the airport for my trip back to Cali, yay! If you want to meet up while I'm there (til the 19th), call or text me! 408-425-1929. I'm going to be in Oakland most of the time, and I won't have a car, though, so you're gonna have to make some kinda drive, prolly :P Current Mood:  bouncy | | Monday, July 27th, 2009 | | 7:02 pm |
I'm not dead :P
And to prove it, I'll be out in thebay area to visit for a week, from Aug 12th to the 19th. I'll mostly be staying in the Oakland area with not much private transportation, but I'll do my best to try to see anyone who's interested. Current Mood: bored | | Friday, December 26th, 2008 | | 1:36 am |
Dark Shapes
I recently sent this message out to my former housemates, and while I was composing it, I realized that there were a lot of others that I wanted to here these things, so I'm posting it here. I'll say up front that this isn't pretty, and I know many of you are so used to seeing negative LJ posts that they've become a cliche to be glossed over at best. I've always made it a point not to vent like that here, but I need to say a few things just this once. If I can ask only one thing of you for the rest of my life, please do me the favor of listening now. (please note that this is not any sort of threat or intent to do do harm to myself, I just want to be heard) As some of you know, I've recently moved out of the Bay area after a very difficult spiral of events over the last few years that have left me in severe financial and psychological distress. I haven't been very vocal about this until now. With the exception of Rachel, I've tried to avoid burdening others with the problems in my life and the emotions that come with them, but I really need to get this out in the open. I may have given the impression that things were working out well for me and that I'm able to effectively deal with my situation, if I've even discussed it with you. The truth is that I've been hanging on by a thread for the last 3 years, and barely even that for the last several months. I don't know if any of you have gone through this sort of loss to relate, but it has been, and continues to be an absolute nightmare. The material loss was substantial, but it's far deeper than that. It's not just that I've lost my house and some furniture and power tools, I've lost my home, my friends, my lifestyle, my lover, and everything that I've worked hard for in my entire adult life. When I left, for the first time in many years, I was overcome with anger, bitterness, resentment, and even hatred towards everyone and everything in my life. It felt like a poison, or an infection that was taking hold and wouldn't let go. I'm glad to have had a few days on the road to have some meaningful inner dialog, and to come to terms with all these events, choices, and decisions that led me here. Still, I can't stop wondering if I'm somehow deserving of this. I've found it to be a very narrow but vital distinction that separates accepting responsibility for where I am now, and blaming myself for it. What I really need now is some support and understanding. I didn't feel as if I got a lot of that in my last days there. Certainly, there weren't many who even knew I was leaving, much less that I back to say goodbye, and I apologize for what may have seemed like a stealthy retreat. Still, only a small handful even wished me good luck, or expressed sorrow that I was leaving, even knowing they may never see me again. Again, I was left questioning if I was deserving of that as well. I resented it a great deal at first, but after considering everything again and again on my drive home, I realized that most people I know are as emotionally guarded as I am, and hesitant to express themselves openly, even in this kind of situation. I hope that's the case at least. I'd like to offer my deepest thanks to those who did open up to me, and my understanding to those of you who couldn't. I want you all to know that I hold no grudges, hatred, or ill-will towards anyone (yes, even him.). All of that said, I hope you better understand where I'm coming from, and what I'm up against at the moment. Thank you for listening to what I had to say. I'd really like to hear from you, if you have anything to say about any of this, or even about my time spent with you over the last 10 years. Whatever you have to say, I need some closure to resolve all the unanswered questions and dark thoughts that have been plaguing me. Please help me to put all of this behind me and move on. Thanks. -Kal AIM: kaotika0 YIM: kaotikax 408-425-1929 701 Flamingo Dr. Apollo Beach, FL 33572 | | Wednesday, December 17th, 2008 | | 12:14 am |
| | Monday, April 14th, 2008 | | 3:53 pm |
| | Saturday, August 11th, 2007 | | 3:25 am |
North is the new Mid-East
More to come later, I just didn't want to forget the snazzy headline. That's Time Magazine quality right there. | | Friday, July 27th, 2007 | | 12:02 pm |
Wow
This literally brought tears to my eyes. :) http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/003200707271941.htmPalestine Authority 'ready to shun violence' Jerusalem, July 27 (PTI): In a major shift in policy, the Palestine Authority (PA) government led by Fatah leader Mahmoud Abbas today proposed to shun "armed struggle" in its bid to shore up a peace deal with Israel. The proposals, presented to PA ministers today, requires the approval of the Palestinian Legislative Council. Sources in Israel said "the proposals are important and honours past agreement with the Jewish country." The new guidelines seek restoration of pre-1967 conditions between the two countries. On the dispute over Jerusalem, it says the holy city would serve as the capital of both states. It also urges the refugee problem to be solved on the basis of UN resolutions thus seeking to pave way for the return of thousands of Palestinians who fled during wartime. Islamic faction Hamas, which seized control in the Gaza Strip following violent confrontation against PA forces, has slammed the proposal, vowing to continue its armed struggle. The group's spokesman in Gaza, Ayman Taha, told Israel Radio that "no decision can erase the resistance to the occupation." The platform presented by the government today however stresses that it is committed to PA President Mahmoud Abbas' call for a "popular struggle against the Israeli occupation". The guidelines also include a pledge to restore PA rule on the Gaza Strip and extensively blames Hamas for "deviously and forcefully" taking over its institutions. |
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